Special Day

In the midst of this crazy life of wedding planning and, talk about peak season for photos... seniors, weddings... I got to go through the temple and receive my endowment. The temple is always the perfect place to just pause from daily life and breathe! I loved it. I love to feel my Father in Heaven's love for me and it brings me so much peace. Peace is exactly what I needed. I was fortunate enough to have taken temple preparation classes from my Bishop and he prepared me so well. I'm excited to go back and continue learning more. 

My life has changed forever today! And in TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY, it will change forever again! 

TWO WEEKS! jskJA;shliwuyehfa;lesr!!!! (happy spaz)

21 is fun

Well. In the midst of planning this wedding - BAM - it's my birthday.

A more than happy day at work,

the Himalayan Kitchen for lunch (which all enjoyed!),

evening with Chance,

El Salvador Restaurant for dinner, where I literally felt like I was out of the country,

and Divergent at the theater.

So yeah. 21 is fun!

oh my ;laksjd;laskj!

(Um that little spaz in the title is NOT supposed to be a curse word... haha)

UMM WE SAW THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 AND LET ME TELL YOU

-NEW OBSESSION WITH SPIDERMAN. BY FAR MY FAVORITE SUPER HERO MOVIE EVER

- I'VE NEVER CRIED TO SO HARD IN A MOVIE. EVER. NOT EVEN CLOSE. I CRY IN LOTS OF MOVIES AND THAT'S NORMAL, AND I EVEN HAVE TO HOLD IT IN A LITTLE MORE THAN OTHER TIMES, BUT NOT THIS MOVIE. I WAS HOLDING IT IN (BECAUSE WHO WANTS TO SOB AT A MOVIE THEATER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE. KIND OF EMBARRASSING AND ANNOYING FOR EVERYONE.) AND THEN IT ENDED AND I TURNED TO CHANCE TO TELL HIM HOW MUCH I LOVED IT AND I TOTALLY LOST IT. NOT KIDDING, I WAS HYSTERICAL. LIKE, I HAVE RARELY CRIED THAT HARD EVER IN MY LIFE ABOUT LEGITIMATE SAD THINGS.


It was crazy and I had no idea what was going on. But then I realized *** SPOILER *** Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone) and Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) has the most amazing love and chemistry on screen (and in real life!) and I seriously fell in love with their love. (Which is kinda funny because with the previous Spiderman movies there was not Gwen, just Mary Jane, and then the new Spiderman came out and I was like 'who is the Gwen chick? Where's MJ!?' Now I am opposite... GWEN FOREVER). And then what happens? I wasn't prepared because I didn't read the comics or anything. Gwen Stacy dies. Not only does she die, but she dies because of a situation she was put in by Spiderman (though she made it clear it was her choice). But that was his greatest fear, was putting her in danger. But if Spiderman's web had reached her 1 second earlier, she probably would have lived. So she dies, they have a funeral, and they show Peter at her grave throughout the whole year, and he takes a break from spiderman, then he talks to his aunt and his aunt talks about moving on, then a bad guy comes and a little kid dresses up as spiderman and goes out to face the bad guy (more tears) and Spiderman comes back. I know that was a ramble but here is the deal:

-I'm an empathizer. You know that quote we hear a lot in church "bare one another's burdens". I do that. When I see, hear, or talk to someone about something they are struggling with I can't help but put myself in that situation (not that I could ever do it completely accurately). And as stupid as it sounds, that's exactly what I did when I was watching this Spiderman. As soon as Gwen died, I put myself in Spiderman's situation (not with gwen obviously... but with Chance.. ) I can't. I really don't know how I would live without him. Even thinking about losing him, my eyes fill with water. And second.. and the thing that is the real kicker, Spiderman "moves on".... I can understand moving on if like.. he didn't love her anymore, or if she didn't love him, but she died. I'm sure they would have been together forever if she didn't die. I literally cannot fathom moving on in a situation like that. It makes me sad to think about moving on too... And I know people do it all the time... but I just... yeah, I don't like thinking about it.

-That little kid at the end. The kid who had hope, and bravery. I'm a sucker for children. It touched my heart! And since I was already on the edge of tears, that just kicked over the bucket haha.

I know it's totally silly, but that's what happened. And I cried for like an hour after the movie and I couldn't even talk about it without breaking down. Cute Chance just held and comforted me:)

So yeah. Go see The Amazing Spiderman 2.

things they don't tell you about being engaged

1. The groom is probably going to be more involved in the planning than you thought. (Okay, not every groom is, but mine? Yeah he has opinons. Glad we are planning this together!)

2. Not every single person you want to be there will be able to be there. You just can't plan around everyone...

3. The average wedding in the US costs $29,000.... So make sure you have about $29,000 put off to the side when you decide to get married. Yeah, no. Not mine. Not happening. The amount that will be spent on this wedding is a very small fraction of that price, and I still think it's ridiculously expensive... But we are doing well! I'm convinced people are giving us good deals on stuff because they really like Chance's hair. And that's no joke.

4. Getting your dream dress may be your plan... but don't throw out the option of wearing your Mother's dress and altering it a little bit. Talk about sentimental value... (plus, Grandma made it.) All the dresses in the stores are just nothing to me now. I am getting my dream dress!

5. People who offer to help you probably really mean it and you shouldn't be afraid to take them up on those offers!

6. Being engaged sucks... okay no, it doesn't suck. But kind of when you have decided this is going to be a for sure thing, you just want to be married already!!

7. There's no need to stress. You're getting married and that's all that matters.

Only about 2 months left! Hip skip!

hale center theater

Chance and I saw Les Miserables at the Hale Center Theater.

So much better than the movie.

Ahh... no words.

We loved it.

Mr&Mrs Nilsson

Chad and Leanne sealed the deal. And seriously? Sunny and 55 degrees in February. Couldn't be better!!!

(Also... check out my new lens capability. I love it. A lot.)

And while we are on the subject of love...

Oh yeah. LOVE.

We've Decided On.... Forever.

"love your lover especially today" day.

OHHHH VALENTINE'S DAY.

The day to especially show my love how much I love him.

And I love him more than ever.

See those roses? Chance himself bought the balloon, roses, vase, and ribbon all separately and then put it together himself! He made sure to mention that to me, and I'm glad he did because I definitely assumed it was all bought together already arranged. Ha, I really am impressed and it makes them that much more special to me. That bundled with a candle, junior mints, and a note written on a paper airplane.... melt.


I got so excited for valentines this year and made a few things for my lover boy.

I'll never buy another card. Hallmark ain't got nothin' on homemade!

A little photo craft. Also homemade!

Dinner at Carls Jr. cause we were just too starving so we picked the first place we saw, and then Romeo and Juliet by the Odyssey Dance theater! AMAZING DANCING.... tragic kind of dark story... BUT AMAZING DANCING! hahaha. We quite enjoyed ourselves.

Home to watch 13 going on 30 and snuggling.

What more could I ask for?

looking forward to

You know me. I thrive off holidays. And it's not even February yet... but I'm just looking forward to it! Valentines day! I've always liked Valentines day (whether or not I had a special someone). Yippee!

I Declare Today a Happy Day

A Happy day indeed.

I made hard choices and did hard things today. The choice of what I want to do vs what I should do. I had to call and decline one job, and call to accept another. I'm getting out of my comfort zone, and that's exciting! I've officially accepted a job. A great job! It pays well, I get paid holidays, they are providing me with a free transit pass, I get to work with my cousin, and the environment seems awesome. Customer Service. It will probably be very different then working with kids, but I'm excited to learn, and expand my knowledge and skills!

Things are working out for me! And I laugh at myself when I say that, because they haven't exactly worked out in the way that I thought they would, but nevertheless, everything is all good! And I feel good. I feel peace, and that is a wonderful feeling.

I drove downtown today to sign some papers, and when I was walking back to my car (I parked far away to get free parking, and it turned out to be way father from where I was going than I thought... haha) I literally looked up to the sky, to God, and said out loud, "You're the BEST!". Haha.. but seriously. Then I went down a list of the amazing things that are in my life, big and small, and why today is such a happy day:

+I'm becoming more confident. Interviews scare me and give me the worst anxiety. BUT I'm getting better at them, more comfortable, more confident in myself and what I have to offer and what I know. I'm able to better be satisfied with myself, whether or not I get the job, as long as I felt like I have done my best. Again, I'm getting out of my comfort zone and it feels GREAT.

+I'm becoming more independent. Okay, okay, I still live at my parents house. BUT, I pay for all my own expenses. All of it. I bought my own car, with cash. I'm making hard decisions. I often talk to people to get their input, but ultimately I'm making all of my own decisions. I don't decide things just because it's what people around me are telling me to do. That's empowering.

+I'm losing weight, in a healthy way! I'm careful about what and how much I eat, and I'm staying active. I don't even remember the last time I was at this weight. I'm so happy to know I'm taking better care of myself!

+I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I feel the Spirit everyday and I feel so grateful that I know who I am and where I'm going.

+My family rocks! They are all so willing to help me out, and my parents are proud of me. I LOVE that feeling. I'm SO lucky to have the kind of relationship with my family that I do.

+I went shopping at City Creek and bought my first 'business casual' outfit. And I only payed 6 cents. (Thanks to Jilli's H&M gift card she gave me... I love free!!)

+It was a BEAUTIFUL day today. Sunny and 40 degrees. I didn't have to wear a coat or even a jacket, and I was absolutely happy to walk to far back to my car.

+I'M DANCING AGAIN!!! I decided last minute to do the adult company at my old studio and tonight was the first rehearsal. Ahh... feels so good!!

+Dad and I went on a temple date. I don't think my dad and I have gone to the temple together before. He said he was leaving to go do baptisms with the beehives and I said "You'll be baptizing?" and he said "Yes." and I said "I'M COMING!" and it was so great and I loved it.

and to top it off ever so nicely

+I get to have Chance as my best friend. He is there for me. He is the first person that I want to tell anything and everything to, because I know he will be excited, or proud of me, or help me, or laugh with me. I lean on him SO much and I'm the happiest to have him in my life!

Ahhh, today is such a happy, happy day!

never too old

Aubrey: What should we do tonight?!

Chance: Umm. I don't know!

Aubrey: Hmm... we could build a fort!

Chance: Let's do it!

Mom: Well Chance, that's what you get when you date a girl who works with kids.

I'm so happy and thankful to have someone who embraces my inner child... Then again, are you really every too old to build a fort?!

It was magical. 

2013 review

I just looked back at my New Year's resolutions for this year (2013) and they were:


1. stay true to myself and what i believe
2. do what i love and have adventures
3. be thankful every day


I'm happy to say that I believe I successfully kept to my resolutions throughout the year. Every day, more and more I become happy with the person I am, and the life that I live.

Like I had said in that post, I know there is always room for improvement, and becoming the best me I can be is an on-going adventure, but I feel that I have indeed tried my best to stay true to myself and what I believe. I tried hard to not lower my standards to conform to the popular opinion and lived my life in such a way that people would know what I believed.

I have seen myself improving in the areas that I wished, especially in photography, and I can't wait to continue to expand my knowledge and skills. I don't care that "everyone is a photographer now". I'm doing it because I love it.  And though I didn't take any extravagant trips, I felt like I had my fair share of adventures. I became a "yes man" and did things that scared me. I made memories. Real memories.

I may not have said the words "I'm thankful for...." out loud everyday, but I did my best to "choose" to be happy. To see the small and simple things that made each day special. I really believe that to be thankful is to be happy.

2013 has been good to me! So here is the top 13 highlights from my life in 2013 (cliche, I know...)



1.  Dating Chance. Whatever I was doing, if he was there, it was better. I'm so thankful for the way he has impacted my life. The love and care, support, influence, and motivation he has given me through out this year has really made a difference! The year would have been VERY different if he wasn't a part of it, and I don't really care to think about experiencing it without him.

(the rest are in no particular order)

2. Speaking of Chance, going to Lake Powell with his family was definitely in the top 13 best times of the year! Not only do I just adore his family and love spending time with them, I had never been to Lake Powell before! It's just as awesome as everyone says it is.

3. The expansion of my family. Two new nieces AND Chad's engagement. Grace and Layla are two little bundles of perfect, and I'm so excited for Chad and Leanne to start their life together.

4. Grandma's passing... Seems weird to be a highlight, and I would give anything to have her still be here, but the time I was able to see her in the hospital before she passed away will always be a moment I treasure. It was a hard holiday season without her... but I know she watches out for me and I miss her everyday.

5. Mckay's mission call opening. Seeing Mac open that call and read out loud where he would be serving the Lord for the next 2 years was surreal! My baby brother! And then spending as much time as possible before he left. He knows how to have a good time!

6. Antelope Island trip with mom and dad. Just me, mom, and dad. Hey, I love my parents, but I'll admit I wasn't too excited to live at home by myself with them. But my attitude has totally changed on that. Plus, they like that I make them do fun things.

7. My homemade double stuffed Oreo Halloween costume. It was legit, if I do say so myself. Even though Chance and I had no parties to go to or anything... I spent 3 full nights on those costumes and was happy to just drive around the valley to show my family.

8. Little Millie turned one this year! And we were lucky enough to have her in Utah for her birthday, and birthday party. I got some really cute snaps at her party, and she's the cutest thing that ever hit this planet.

9. I bought a car! (I've been planning to do a picture and post about it... but I haven't.) I bought a car, with my very own money, in full, WITH CASH! Now that is a good feeling. I sure enjoy having my own car, and I really like the car itself too! Thanks to Chance for helping me get a good one.



10. Attending the Temple and my increased love for Sundays. With regret, I have to say that I didn't go as often as I should have... but every time I did, I always had the most beautiful experiences. I've got to make it more of a habit. And this year I have gained such an appreciation for the Sabbath Day. The peace is brings to me is priceless.

11. I turned 20! I officially said goodbye to my teenage years. Nah, I don't really feel that much difference between 19 and 20, but for some reason this year, I didn't struggle with telling people I was still 19 for the first few months after I turned 20. And I had a 'cake' of Grandma Nilsson's rolls, instead of an actual cake. That.... was awesome.

12. Chance and my Elf inspired Christmas date. Snow angels, ice skating, lights at temple square, texas roadhouse (for free), cookie dough, and snuggling. Now that was a date to remember!

13. Shark Week in Park City with my family. Even though we just swam, and watched Shark Week, and not everyone could stick around for long, I love little getaways, I love Park City, I love spending time with my family, and I love Shark Week... haha.

14. Okay I had to add in one more, because my life long friends and I went on a road trip to St. George and even though we got stuck in the hell fire sand and got swimmers itch, I'd go back and do it all again!!

Wow. It really has been a great year!

But you know me. I love change. And I'm ready for it. I've got great feelings and vibes comin' from 2014, and I think I'll run to it with open arms.

Only 365 days 'til next Christmas...

Hmmm... I'm really not sure what I want to say. Don't get me wrong, this Christmas was awesome, like it always is. 

I woke up everyone in the morning. We lined up to go into the living room ( I was promoted to first in line since Mckay is gone... even though my mom sent him pictures of the living room the night before, so I STILL didn't get to go in first.... haha) opened gifts, opened some surprises, laughed, and enjoyed our Christmas morning. Mom made a yummy breakfast, Dad bought "crackers" (an English activity, since Leanne joined us for Christmas... oh yeah she and Chad are engaged! Can't wait for her to be a part of our family!), and we skyped Mckay for a good amount of time and it was WONDERFUL. Went and visited Grandma Haws' grave to put a star decoration on it and wish her Merry Christmas (we are missing her so dearly this season...) then went to Grandma Nilsson's house for a delicious Christmas dinner, and some more gifts (Grandma's gift to all of us- "You all put the 'zing' in amazing!" Matching shirts for all that say ZING. Ya know what Grandma? You put the AMA in amazing!! hehe..) and spending time with family. Then back home. And Dad read me Dr. Suess, How the Grinch Stole Christmas (yes, I still love when my dad reads to me). And it was a lovely way to end the night...

 But for some reason I'm struggling with the fact that it's over... Ha. That sounds ridiculous, but that is my legitimate feeling.

Maybe because for the last 2 months my whole identity has revolved around Christmas... All the music I listened to, movies I watched, clothes I wore, activities I did, and things I talked about were in relation to Christmas. And now Christmas is over... I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE.

Haha, okay that was a tad bit dramatic. But kind of seriously... I'm just sad it's over. A little more sad than usual. Also, I didn't get to spend it with Chance which is a bummer. The Christmas season is just.... the best. I'll miss it is all.

I'm so thankful that I get to celebrate the Christmas season. So thankful for my family who makes every Christmas unforgettable, especially my parents.

And I'm most thankful for my Savior. For his birth. For his Life. For his sacrifice.

Very Merry Christmas to you all.

IT'S ALMOST HERE!

only 3 more sleeps till CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

random post for random pics

BABY LAYLA!!!

GINGERBREAD HOUSE MAKING WITH THE BOYS I NANNY!

AND THE COOL FIREPLACE WE MADE

and those cute cute boys waving to me out the window goodbye. I will miss them so much...

CHAD AND LEANNE ARE ENGAGED!

A GIFT EXCHANGE/CATCH UP SESSION WITH THIS LOVELY

MOM IS THE CUTEST.

ALSO JACE AND MILLIE ARE THE CUTEST.