ranting

I have to wake up at 6 am every morning. To get ready and catch the 7:13 Trax train to downtown (with the free trax pass my work has provided me with!). To get to my NEW JOB by 8!
The "office" job doesn't really appeal to some people... but I'm really diggin' the atmosphere. My second day, and I've already started decorating my desk.
Oh and I'm also lovin' the "business casual" attire. Ha! That's fun.
Back to the 6 am deal, I haven't even been dead tired the last two days I've had to wake up that early. That is a big deal! But going to bed at 10 is hard.. It bothers me that I could take a nap at any given moment during the day, but as soon as I get in bed to go to sleep it's like I have to force my eyes to close.
My boss took me to lunch today at Cafe Brio in City Creek. Have you ever been there? It's delicious. And I just adore my boss. She is awesome! I feel like everyone on my team likes me a lot already, granted one of them is my cousin.
Which brings me to another point! I'm so grateful my cousin told me that the job was hiring. It's fun to see her all the time, and I'm going to love working with her.
At lunch, I was telling my boss how I think you really have to know people to get a job just about anywhere. She totally agreed and then proceeded to tell me how she had 500 applicants for the job I had received and since my cousin referred me, she set up an interview, and then only interviewed like 2 other people, and after I interviewed with her she had 2 of her other co workers interview me to make sure she wasn't being biased, since she knows my cousin and the kind of family I come from. She said that all three of them picked me as the best candidate for the job, hands down, no questions! She told me I was so outgoing and personable, and I was really happy to hear that, because job interviews give me major anxiety! Big self-esteem booster right there.
I feel like I'm catching on pretty quick with how my job will work, which is reassuring. I don't feel as nervous and out of my comfort zone as I thought I would. But I'm so excited for this change, and opportunity.
Also they have nerf gun wars.
When we were leaving lunch, we walked passed a guy with a gas mask on. Literally a gas mask. The air quality is getting really bad here, and it really bums me out... Yikes! But it was sunny and that was refreshing.
Back to decorating my desk, now I'm browsing pinterest for the cutest ideas. Why not like the space you work in?


YAY LIFE!

I Declare Today a Happy Day

A Happy day indeed.

I made hard choices and did hard things today. The choice of what I want to do vs what I should do. I had to call and decline one job, and call to accept another. I'm getting out of my comfort zone, and that's exciting! I've officially accepted a job. A great job! It pays well, I get paid holidays, they are providing me with a free transit pass, I get to work with my cousin, and the environment seems awesome. Customer Service. It will probably be very different then working with kids, but I'm excited to learn, and expand my knowledge and skills!

Things are working out for me! And I laugh at myself when I say that, because they haven't exactly worked out in the way that I thought they would, but nevertheless, everything is all good! And I feel good. I feel peace, and that is a wonderful feeling.

I drove downtown today to sign some papers, and when I was walking back to my car (I parked far away to get free parking, and it turned out to be way father from where I was going than I thought... haha) I literally looked up to the sky, to God, and said out loud, "You're the BEST!". Haha.. but seriously. Then I went down a list of the amazing things that are in my life, big and small, and why today is such a happy day:

+I'm becoming more confident. Interviews scare me and give me the worst anxiety. BUT I'm getting better at them, more comfortable, more confident in myself and what I have to offer and what I know. I'm able to better be satisfied with myself, whether or not I get the job, as long as I felt like I have done my best. Again, I'm getting out of my comfort zone and it feels GREAT.

+I'm becoming more independent. Okay, okay, I still live at my parents house. BUT, I pay for all my own expenses. All of it. I bought my own car, with cash. I'm making hard decisions. I often talk to people to get their input, but ultimately I'm making all of my own decisions. I don't decide things just because it's what people around me are telling me to do. That's empowering.

+I'm losing weight, in a healthy way! I'm careful about what and how much I eat, and I'm staying active. I don't even remember the last time I was at this weight. I'm so happy to know I'm taking better care of myself!

+I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I feel the Spirit everyday and I feel so grateful that I know who I am and where I'm going.

+My family rocks! They are all so willing to help me out, and my parents are proud of me. I LOVE that feeling. I'm SO lucky to have the kind of relationship with my family that I do.

+I went shopping at City Creek and bought my first 'business casual' outfit. And I only payed 6 cents. (Thanks to Jilli's H&M gift card she gave me... I love free!!)

+It was a BEAUTIFUL day today. Sunny and 40 degrees. I didn't have to wear a coat or even a jacket, and I was absolutely happy to walk to far back to my car.

+I'M DANCING AGAIN!!! I decided last minute to do the adult company at my old studio and tonight was the first rehearsal. Ahh... feels so good!!

+Dad and I went on a temple date. I don't think my dad and I have gone to the temple together before. He said he was leaving to go do baptisms with the beehives and I said "You'll be baptizing?" and he said "Yes." and I said "I'M COMING!" and it was so great and I loved it.

and to top it off ever so nicely

+I get to have Chance as my best friend. He is there for me. He is the first person that I want to tell anything and everything to, because I know he will be excited, or proud of me, or help me, or laugh with me. I lean on him SO much and I'm the happiest to have him in my life!

Ahhh, today is such a happy, happy day!

Resolutions

The time has come. New year. New goals. Fresh start! And again, along with the typical resolutions that are made every year, (work out, be healthy, daily scripture study and prayer), here are a few other things I want to focus on for this new year of 2014!



1. Make the most out of my sundays: Listen to gospel music, watch gospel movies, make gospel related goals for the week (service, calling responsiblities), Read gospel books, etc. Come closer to my Savior.

2. Reconnect with old friends. Send letters/messages, set up "lunch dates" to catch up.

3. Learn a new skill. Anything!

4. Promote my photography more. So far I've pretty much only done it for family and close friends, but I haven't really tried to get my name out there. But I got a new laptop AND photoshop. Big things are going to happen people!!

5. Volunteer somewhere.



I've got high expectations for this year, and I will try my best not to let myself down.

2013 review

I just looked back at my New Year's resolutions for this year (2013) and they were:


1. stay true to myself and what i believe
2. do what i love and have adventures
3. be thankful every day


I'm happy to say that I believe I successfully kept to my resolutions throughout the year. Every day, more and more I become happy with the person I am, and the life that I live.

Like I had said in that post, I know there is always room for improvement, and becoming the best me I can be is an on-going adventure, but I feel that I have indeed tried my best to stay true to myself and what I believe. I tried hard to not lower my standards to conform to the popular opinion and lived my life in such a way that people would know what I believed.

I have seen myself improving in the areas that I wished, especially in photography, and I can't wait to continue to expand my knowledge and skills. I don't care that "everyone is a photographer now". I'm doing it because I love it.  And though I didn't take any extravagant trips, I felt like I had my fair share of adventures. I became a "yes man" and did things that scared me. I made memories. Real memories.

I may not have said the words "I'm thankful for...." out loud everyday, but I did my best to "choose" to be happy. To see the small and simple things that made each day special. I really believe that to be thankful is to be happy.

2013 has been good to me! So here is the top 13 highlights from my life in 2013 (cliche, I know...)



1.  Dating Chance. Whatever I was doing, if he was there, it was better. I'm so thankful for the way he has impacted my life. The love and care, support, influence, and motivation he has given me through out this year has really made a difference! The year would have been VERY different if he wasn't a part of it, and I don't really care to think about experiencing it without him.

(the rest are in no particular order)

2. Speaking of Chance, going to Lake Powell with his family was definitely in the top 13 best times of the year! Not only do I just adore his family and love spending time with them, I had never been to Lake Powell before! It's just as awesome as everyone says it is.

3. The expansion of my family. Two new nieces AND Chad's engagement. Grace and Layla are two little bundles of perfect, and I'm so excited for Chad and Leanne to start their life together.

4. Grandma's passing... Seems weird to be a highlight, and I would give anything to have her still be here, but the time I was able to see her in the hospital before she passed away will always be a moment I treasure. It was a hard holiday season without her... but I know she watches out for me and I miss her everyday.

5. Mckay's mission call opening. Seeing Mac open that call and read out loud where he would be serving the Lord for the next 2 years was surreal! My baby brother! And then spending as much time as possible before he left. He knows how to have a good time!

6. Antelope Island trip with mom and dad. Just me, mom, and dad. Hey, I love my parents, but I'll admit I wasn't too excited to live at home by myself with them. But my attitude has totally changed on that. Plus, they like that I make them do fun things.

7. My homemade double stuffed Oreo Halloween costume. It was legit, if I do say so myself. Even though Chance and I had no parties to go to or anything... I spent 3 full nights on those costumes and was happy to just drive around the valley to show my family.

8. Little Millie turned one this year! And we were lucky enough to have her in Utah for her birthday, and birthday party. I got some really cute snaps at her party, and she's the cutest thing that ever hit this planet.

9. I bought a car! (I've been planning to do a picture and post about it... but I haven't.) I bought a car, with my very own money, in full, WITH CASH! Now that is a good feeling. I sure enjoy having my own car, and I really like the car itself too! Thanks to Chance for helping me get a good one.



10. Attending the Temple and my increased love for Sundays. With regret, I have to say that I didn't go as often as I should have... but every time I did, I always had the most beautiful experiences. I've got to make it more of a habit. And this year I have gained such an appreciation for the Sabbath Day. The peace is brings to me is priceless.

11. I turned 20! I officially said goodbye to my teenage years. Nah, I don't really feel that much difference between 19 and 20, but for some reason this year, I didn't struggle with telling people I was still 19 for the first few months after I turned 20. And I had a 'cake' of Grandma Nilsson's rolls, instead of an actual cake. That.... was awesome.

12. Chance and my Elf inspired Christmas date. Snow angels, ice skating, lights at temple square, texas roadhouse (for free), cookie dough, and snuggling. Now that was a date to remember!

13. Shark Week in Park City with my family. Even though we just swam, and watched Shark Week, and not everyone could stick around for long, I love little getaways, I love Park City, I love spending time with my family, and I love Shark Week... haha.

14. Okay I had to add in one more, because my life long friends and I went on a road trip to St. George and even though we got stuck in the hell fire sand and got swimmers itch, I'd go back and do it all again!!

Wow. It really has been a great year!

But you know me. I love change. And I'm ready for it. I've got great feelings and vibes comin' from 2014, and I think I'll run to it with open arms.

who wants to pay my bail?...

Ya gotta do whatcha gotta do... right?

HAHA J-K guys. That is long, hard earned cash right there. I've been saving for months and months.

Stay tuned to see what I've been saving for... 

in my head

• having preschool spring break while real school is in=awesome. maybe i didn't get a complete break for my spring break, but it really evened out! No classes during my spring break, and now 3 days off of this regular week. maybe that doesn't even make sense to you. but ill have you know, it is NICE.
• i had to figure out something to do instead of running. i just don't like it. so ya know what i did? i swam laps in the indoor pool. I'm not sure why, but i felt way dumb doing it haha. however, i felt that it was more tolerable than running.
• i decided to run again. outside...
  yup. still hate it.
• i have a twitchy eye. and it's been twitchy for 3 days now. it makes me look like a fool.
  but then again, i live to look like a fool! 
• dude... i have a really great life:)

monday thoughts

boss is gone for 12 weeks,
supervisor had her last day,
work facebook page down,
so i have no idea what i am supposed to do at work today.....
so maybe i slept in.
and it was much needed.

class was canceled because teacher is out of the country.
day off anyone?

oatmeal for breakfast.
for some reason, i'm proud of myself for knowing these trivia questions
without hesitation.

i went running.
for 40 minutes.
someone call the police.
the real aubrey is missing...
WHO AM I?!
(it felt good... seriously. who am i)

my motivation to be fit and healthier (and let's be honest, get a rockin body haha)

has really sunk in

and become actions.

i was going to call it "project bikini bod"

then i realized...

i don't wear bikinis.

HA!

so i'm calling it:

project "get fit and have a nice body so i would feel comfortable in a bikini even though i'm not going to wear one"

so here we go.

day one.

no results.

i may just give up.

hahahaha....

• the boys across the hall think they are funny.

it's kind of funny.

but mostly creepy.

hahaha.

• you know what monday?
  you weren't so bad.
  keep it up!

keep telling yourself

sometimes
i have these little
"no, everything is not going to be okay"
attacks.

and it's not fun.
and i don't like the feeling.
at all.
it's not me.
and it makes me feel... off.

so you know what i do?
i apply my own beliefs.
like how it's a choice to be happy.

so, over and over
i say in my head
"it's fine. everything is going to be okay.
it's a good day. i'm happy. i have a lot to be happy about.
people care for me. i know i am loved. just try my best.
take feedback and make myself better. i am smart"

over.
and over.
and over.

because i refuse to feel this way.
it's hard.
and it doesn't just go away...
but i will not let it stay.

but it helps.
and it gives me hope.
and hope is important to me.
i know i am never alone.
ever.
i have my savior to thank for that.
and how comforting it is
that in the middle of whatever i am doing
i can say a little prayer in my heart
asking for help
and peace.

and then when it all comes down to it,
i am happy.
i know who i am. i know what i want.
and i know what i want to become.

and that
is a good feeling.
and that good feeling,
overpowers any other bad feelings.

and for that,
i am happy.

such long days.

i believe i have mentioned that my days
are pretty long this semester.

in detail,
that means:
on mondays i wake up at 7 to get ready.
board the shuttle at 7:45.
arrive on campus to start work at 8.
work until 12.
eat lunch.
monday's i am fortunate enough to have break
between work and class at 3.
then class at 3.
home at 5.
long day.

tuesdays and thursdays
i wake up at 6. six o'clock in the A.M.....
get ready. board the shuttle and 6:45.
arrive on campus to start work at 7.
work until 1.
that means no time to eat lunch :(
class from 1-2:15
and a class after that from 2:30 to 3:45.
then i have to go back to work
for a little bit
to finish what i couldn't finish before.
then i eat dinner on campus with my handy dandy
employee card.
so i end up getting home at 5.
long days.

wednesday and friday
i get to sleep in!!!.....
till 8!
i don't even remember a single time in my life
where i actually considered 8 o'clock sleeping in.
that's so sad.
i get ready.
my awesome friend mckenna picks me up
at about 8:30
and we travel to orem elementary school
to teach in the preschool until 12:30. (it's one of my classes. best thing ever. kinderbeets all over again)
then mckenna so kindly takes me back to UVU
to start work.
first i eat.
work from 1-5.
long days.

and after everyday
i've got homework
and studying to come home to!
and let's be real
i have to fit the bachelor in there some where!!!
haha...

those are long long days to me!
not exactly what i'm used to,
for my college life anyways.


naturally,
i'm tired all the time.
because who has time to REALLY get 8 hours of sleep at night
when you live with all your friends?
not that easy to go to bed early. (not to mention the walls are so thin you wouldn't be able to go to bed unless every single roommate was asleep already....)


so when annie posted this picture on my facebook,
i got a REAL kick out of it:

.....

because it just so happens that this picture below was taken

only a few moments before annie posted the picture above to my facebook.

so when annie posted the other pic

i laughed at myself.

and said

LITERALLY.

THAT'S HOW IT IS.

hahaha...

THESE DAYS ARE LONG!

what a good guy!

my way great friend
snapchatted me:

are you alive?

(we hadn't snapped in a while)

i replied:

barely!

he asked why and i told him how the first week of school = chaos,
and i snappchatted him all my paper everywhere.
he told me to let him help,
and i said ok go to walmart and get me school supplies,
totally not serious right?...


oh he did it though.
and seriously it helped me SO MUCH.


and even when i told him to just get the cheap stuff....
he comes back with:

cute folders!

oh he knows me...

hahah

plus a way nice binder.

and everything else i needed.

and he wouldn't even let me pay him back for it.

it's so encouraging to know there are people out there

that just want to help you out!

and let me tell you...

it helped!

thank you!!

PS

did i mention my friend im talking about is THEE mckay crockett?

just sayin...

he's like famous.

and he's like my way great friend.

sooooo yeah....

aaaaand here we go again

new semester-- spring semester

new classes-- biology, astronomy, 2 early childhood classes, still looking for a 1 credit class...

new job-- same place, same department, just a different set of things to do... they are all over the place haha

new roommates-- annie and macy moved out. 2 new roomies, elizabeth and mel

new experiences-- can't wait!

new knowledge-- learning all i can

it's all going to be a little bit new!

remember when my plan for the next 2 years

got crumpled up and shot down the drain?

BASICALLY my original plan was to graduate in april with my associates in early childhood ed, then transfer to BYU to do their bachelors program in early childhood ed BUT when i went to see my advisor i didn't get into 2 classes i needed to graduate in april, so now i have to wait till next december to graduate. AND THEN my advisor informed me he thinks byu is discontinuing their program, and pretty much said for preschool its really not necessary to continue after an associates. 

so guess what.

i got a call saying they had spot open in the classes that i needed.

so i called mom.

we talked it over.

and decided it would be best to try and make it work.

so i accepted the spot.

and then BOOM

graduating in december changed back to graduating in april again.

even though it was a bit of a hassle, changing my work schedule and school schedule,

i am excited!

and then im done for a while.

woah.

suddenly this semester doesn't seem so bad

and it's going to fly by.

so let's do this!

the end, but not over.

it's official....
my best friend,
sister,
annie....
moved out.

i know i know
you are all in shock.
it had to be done...
the days of us actually living together
are at an end.. (for now)
but that doesn't means it's over!
she only lives 7 minutes away.
we can handle that.
and we are going to handle it when she is
19732472921 miles away too.(when she goes to india for the summer!)
because we are best friends
and thats what best friends do.
distance?
no matter.

p.s.
happy cuddle up day!

it was a day

let's just say
that work was not great...

and let's just say that
it was dumb that all the food places
on campus closed at like 1....
and it's not fun to be hungry.

and let's just say
that i should probably make sure
that my camera's batteries are charged
days before i have a shoot planned...
and to make sure i always have my the battery
charger with me... and not leave it in sandy...

but let's also just say
that i'm glad my boss has already grown to love me...

and let's say that i'm
glad that i eventually got food
and that i am fortunate enough to get it.

and let's also say
that my best friend annakin
is the best for letting me take her car in an emergency.
and that i have great friends and family who help me out.

and really,
let's just say
i'm happy that
i knew from the moment i started to stress out,
that everything was going to be okay
and work out.
and it did.
and i'm much happier because of it!!

PS

What did the Montgolfier brothers invent?


The balloon!

Happy Trivia Day!

keepin it simple.

new year's resolution time.
and besides the obvious {be healthy, daily scriptures and prayers, etc}
this year,
i'm keepin simple:


1. stay true to myself and what i believe
2. do what i love and have adventures
3. be thankful every day

seems like a very possible way
to enjoy this year.

good luck with all your resolutions!

in review

time is an interesting thing!
it is so slow,
so fast,
so sudden,
so anticipated,
and
so valuable
all at the same time!

so, come every new year
it's crazy to think back to last new years
and how it only felt like yesterday
but it still felt like so long ago.
hahaha i just confuse myself thinking about it.

but as i look back in to 2012
and think about how
i'm not totally the same person i was at the start of 2012
i am so blessed with what 2012 has brought me.
i'm so happy and satisfied with the person i am
and there are very specific things from 2012
that i think made that possible.
of course there will always be room for improvement
and i will always be working on it!

i did it last year
and i'm definitely doing it again

{highlights of MY two-thousand and twelve year}

• my best friend left on a mission for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I'm so proud of him. Can't believe it's been a year already... receiving letters from him were always highlights!
• the rest of my guy friends left on missions!
• annie and trent made my valentines one of the best i ever had.
• TONS of concerts/shows/movie premiers with my bff annie, and trent too!!! Tessa Barton/Parachute, Kina Grannis, Disney On Ice (twice) Footloose, Aida, CARRIE UNDERWOOD, hunger games, breaking dawn!
• so many adventures with my annie.
• really getting into photography, and having lots of shoots.
• lots of family time
• me and annies nautical photoshoot
• my life changing trip to ecuador and being a part of my family called Synergy.
• being a nanny in the summer
• cousin adventures with isaac and scooter (now on missions!)
• sending off floating lanterns on me and annies birthday
• addison's sister got married! and his cardboard cut out was there:)
• went to the air show!
• vocal point/ delilah/ PENTATONIX concert
• being all crafty and completing pinterest projects
• an "us 4" campout
• road trip to st george to hike zions. plus jess got engaged!!
• tanners last vocal point concert :( but i still went to the ones after.. haha
• MY FIRST NIECE WAS BORN
• spontaneous jet skiing with tanner
• moving back down to school with my best friend, making good friends, getting the BEST roommates, and actually liking school.
• snap back and nature shirt fridays hahaha
• chalk the block
• capitol reef field trip with my english class
• iphone5! woohoo! which brings the best group text conversations with my family, and with my roommates!
• jess got married!
• taylor swift's new album RED
• 3 blind mice for halloween with annie and macy
• thriller by oddysey dance theater
• festival of trees. so packed. eye spazms from decked out trees.. haha
• christmas show with mom and emmie and meeting the nicest man at the leather purse booth
• sunsets from my apartment window
• ice skating!!!!!! and learning to skate backwards!
• my dog passed away, but she's much happier now.
• silky jammies!
• donnie and marie concert
• classy new years eve party
• and really spending time with people that i love!

i couldn't have asked for more from this year.

also i was thinking about this time last year

and how i kind of felt like i knew what to expect from the year 2012.

this year?

i just don't know!

i mean i know ill be going to school and things

but i just don't feel like i have plans.

or specific things that i know will happen

and i will be looking forward to.

i like it.

makes me feel like i can do whatever i want, and all adventurous...

so here is to 2013-

adventure is out there!!

the home stretch

thanksgiving break over.
only 2 full weeks of school left.
then finals.
we've hit the homestretch y'all.
time to start writing lists
and making sure everything gets done.
oh the satisfaction that comes with crossing items off of a list.

let's do this.

PS
the christmas season is
OFFICIALLY upon us.

first day of school! first day of school!

post title credit to finding nemo..


but like it says!
it was the first day of a new school year!
kind of back to high school days
in the way that i now have to get up early every morning.
it's not as bad as i thought it would be!
and i'm kind of determined to become a morning person...
i just don't know how likely it is to attain that characteristic...
but i now have a job so 8 am to 12 is it.

and guess what.
nick played celine dion on the shuttle for me.
and guess what.
work was good, i caught on fast {because they didn't even train me on what i'm supposed to do!}
and guess what.
campus is packed. 33,000 students enrolled, and you can tell.
and guess what.
my health class shouldn't be very stressful.
and guess what.
i get free lunch from work. grilled ham and cheese...so good.
and guess what.
my english class is half face to face half online. didn't know that when i signed up.
but guess what
we are going on a field trip to capitol reef for 3 days! umm cool!
and guess what
i went to fhe tonight and it was fun!
and guess what.
i'm actually looking forward to tomorrow...

:)

last day of summer?

what did i do on my last day of summer?
i went to an all you can eat sushi place with my best friends,
emmie edward and cole
and then
i went to the katy perry movie at the dollar theater with
with just cole.

would i have done it differently if i had actually realized
it was the last day of summer?


nahh...

it was one heck of a summer.
one to remember.
one i learned a lot from.
one i grew a lot from..

oh summer always has a special place in my heart.

now on to my second year of college!
after all,
this is the diary of a college girl!
and the girl with the woody pack pack is back!

living

1 car.
4 1/2 hour drive.
5 people.
2 days.
14 hours of hiking.

this amazing trip to zion's nation park consisted of:

waking up at 5:30 am.

8 hours through the narrows

post hike naps!

brick oven pizza.

wake up at 5:30 again.

hike to angels landing.

tops of angel's landing. 4 hour hike. 

an amazing view of god's creation

and one of my best friend's getting engaged at the top!
SO excited for you jess!!!

a drive home,

with a stop at dairy queen for food.

a cheap grilled cheese sandwich and a corn dog.

{i am a child}

and pouring rain when we got home :)

my body is exhausted,

but it was so worth it.

the trip was a blast.

it was kind of a random trip

with a kind of random group of people.

but that's probably why i liked it so much.

it wasn't easy.

but i love knowing i can do hard things.

and i love this feeling of living.

{PS}

possibly one of the funniest moments:

we decided to get papa johns pizza one night

and we were trying to get a half of what everyone wanted.

we were all in the car

everyone was snappy because we were so hungry,

and we're on the phone with the papa johns guy

trying to tell him our order.

it got really confusing so finally jess took the phone

and finished telling the guy the order.

as soon as she finished we saw brick oven.

jeff says- "cancel the order!"

jess says- "wait. are you joking!?"

jeff takes the phone and cancels the order...

hahahahahahahahahaahaha

maybe you had to be there...

i'm sure the guy was happy not to make such a confusing pizza...

but clearly,

brick oven is better....

good times...