JoAnn Kay Haws

Since most of you reading this are family and friends, you probably already know that this last week, my dear Grandmother has passed away. It's difficult for me to put into words how I feel about it all.

It was unexpected. Grandma was healthy. She had never been seriously ill. She was up and about and doing normal things. 2 weeks ago, or so, she started to get really tired. Tired from just walking, or standing up. It was hard for her to breathe. She went to the hospital, and it got worse. She was put on 100% oxygen, struggling for every breath. I was fortunate enough to go see her in St. George in the hospital last weekend. It was hard for me to see her in a hospital bed, fighting so hard just to breathe. Something most of us don't even have to think about. But did that stop her from being who she was? Definitely not. She still tried to take care of everyone else around her, including the nurses as she (struggled) to ask them about their families and how they were doing. That's Grandma for ya. ... I didn't know that when I said goodbye to her 2 days later that it would be my final goodbye.

My heart aches.

My heart aches for myself and all my cousins for losing our Grandmother that we were close to and looked up to. She was the foundation of our family gatherings that have created some of my most fond memories. My heart aches that she won't be there when I get married... I've always hoped she would be able to make my wedding dress. My heart aches for my mother (and all my aunts and uncles) who has lost her mommy. My heart aches so dearly for my Grandfather who has lost his sweet heart. They just celebrated their 60th Anniversary.

And though my heart aches... it really does... I also have reason to feel joy. Joy that she was my grandmother, and the kind of grandmother she was. She came and supported me in countless dance performances, and school achievements. Never missed birthday. If she couldn't be there, she called and sent a card and always made sure I knew that she loved me. I'm sure all my cousins can say the same thing. I feel joy that even though she won't physically be with me at my wedding, I have no doubt she will be there in spirit, especially in the temple. I feel joy that she was my mom's mom. How she raised such a beautiful woman to be MY mother. And how much I love all my aunts and uncles, and all my cousins! I feel joy that even though my grandfather's wife is gone from this Earth, their time together is so far from over.

I feel joy that my grandma is no longer suffering. That she is really, in the big picture, HOME. I can be sure that she is so happy to be there, though she may still be a little sad for what she has left on Earth. I hope with all my heart that my Grandma knew how loved she was, and how much I love her. I love you so much Grandma! And I am so honored to carry part of your name, Jo, in mine. I love it so much and I hope that I can make you proud!


I believe and have faith is Heavenly Father in his plan. It was my Grandma's plan to live to be 125 years old. It was obviously not the Lord's plan, but he knows best, and I know my Grandma knows that as well.

Thank you to all for your prayers on behalf of this whole family. It has been seen and felt. Just another reminder to live the life you love, love the life you live, and make sure the people you love know you love them.