keep telling yourself

sometimes
i have these little
"no, everything is not going to be okay"
attacks.

and it's not fun.
and i don't like the feeling.
at all.
it's not me.
and it makes me feel... off.

so you know what i do?
i apply my own beliefs.
like how it's a choice to be happy.

so, over and over
i say in my head
"it's fine. everything is going to be okay.
it's a good day. i'm happy. i have a lot to be happy about.
people care for me. i know i am loved. just try my best.
take feedback and make myself better. i am smart"

over.
and over.
and over.

because i refuse to feel this way.
it's hard.
and it doesn't just go away...
but i will not let it stay.

but it helps.
and it gives me hope.
and hope is important to me.
i know i am never alone.
ever.
i have my savior to thank for that.
and how comforting it is
that in the middle of whatever i am doing
i can say a little prayer in my heart
asking for help
and peace.

and then when it all comes down to it,
i am happy.
i know who i am. i know what i want.
and i know what i want to become.

and that
is a good feeling.
and that good feeling,
overpowers any other bad feelings.

and for that,
i am happy.